Jokes Thread

HereCumSanta · Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:39 am Post subject: Jokes Thread

Here you post all the jokes you like or dislike.

Ill start with one:

A man of 20 years old wanna get into US army.
When he gets to the US army base he has to run 3 times around the base camp but he sees no girls near the base camp so he ask the commander:

-How can I fill my male needs?

-Huh, there is a camel in the tent jus there.

-eeeww ill use my hand for right now,thx

15 days later the man is really anoyed to use his hand so he gets in the camel tent and starts to duck the camel up.

The camel starts yelling so loud all the soldiers come and says at him:

-OMFG u dumass the camel was there to bring u to the village where there are sluts!

END

Have fun!
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MastaBun · Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:03 pm Post subject:

lol... funny

I got one...

how do you kill mase by not even touching him?

throw a cookie of the cliff.

mase loves cookies so he will do anything for it hehe
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Farshooter · Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 573 Pictures: 0

>Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says," I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like
heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced.Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says," They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

BH-Kenn · Forum Mod Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 642 Pictures: 0

Haha cheap bastards xD
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oscar971 · League Fanatic Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 237 Pictures: 0

Farshooter · Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 573 Pictures: 0

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

BH-LAWL · Joined: 29 Oct 2006 Posts: 51 Pictures: 0

nice
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MastaBun · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 3:15 pm Post subject:

that was more like a story
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BH-Kenn · Forum Mod Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 642 Pictures: 0

I think the more sophisticated jokes are the ones like the stories.
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MastaBun · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 4:43 pm Post subject:

the one right above is like a story though all the other ones are a joke
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GPAznEternity · League God Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 1145 Pictures: 0

Man goes hunting

he shoots a baby baby bear.

somthing taps his shoulder, he turns around to see a full grown black bear behind him, and the bear says

"I will maul you unless we have sex"

So he goes home with his ass stretched out and the following week he goes to get revenge.

He shoots the black bear

something taps his shoulder, he turns around to see a grizzly bear behind him and he says

"I will maul you unless we have sex.

so he cant sit down all week and he decides to get revenge.

He shoots the grizzly bear and gets tapped on the shoulder

behind him is the park ranger with a rifle and a bunch more bears and the ranger says

"Youre not really here for the hunting are you?"
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-GpAznExarion

MastaBun · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:37 pm Post subject:

lol
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Apple · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:34 pm Post subject:

farshooter has the best joke ever.
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MastaBun · Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 1:02 am Post subject:

uhh...
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Farshooter · Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 573 Pictures: 0

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the tree, then I'm going to go up
there and knock the gorilla out of the tree with this baseball bat. When the
gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the
cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks thehomeowner.

"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"

<3 apple for loving the jokes i post ^^